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An archive of all past Queerly Embodied emails is now available. Simply scroll down to “Archive” on my website.
When I was a kid, I used to love reading choose-your-own adventure novels. I loved having choice, and being able to choose where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do in a story. I loved being able to craft a story based on how I was feeling and what I was interested in. Of course, what these novels touched upon, even though I couldn’t put words to them when I was a kid: I loved having agency and being able to choose adaptations that fit how I was feeling.
If you’ve ever done a mindfulness practice, or any type of embodiment work, you may have heard of grounding. It’s a practice to “ground” or anchor the body and the nervous system to something solid, secure, and in the present moment. I remember being in trainings and groups and being asked to ground via my “sits bones,” a common area folx are invited to focus on to ground and anchor. As a trans-bodied person, this never worked for me. I experience dysphoria in my hips, so when I was asked to ground from that area, I either panicked, checked out, or felt like I was doing it wrong. My experience isn’t unique. As with most practices rooted in somatic and mindfulness, they can be incredibly helpful, but are often presented from a cis-normative, able bodied lens. If you are in a trans or gender expansive body, or a body that’s differently abled, you’re not doing a grounding practice wrong. It also doesn’t mean grounding practices aren’t for you. It simply means you need to be invited to choose your own adventure - a practice that offers agency and options that fit you and your body.
Remember: Your dysphoria doesn’t have to be pushed through or pushed down. Instead, listen for it, honor it, and find the adaptation that works for you in the moment. Queer embodiment means expanding the lens of what it means to be embodied, and how you experience embodiment. Queer embodiment means infinite possibility. Below are some inspiration points for you to create your own grounding practice that works for you. First, check in with yourself. Are you able to be in your body at all right now? If not, that’s ok. It’s good to notice and listen to your “no’s.” And, if you hear a clear and definitive “no,” it’s important to honor that.
Here are some options to try if you want to ground but can’t be in your body:
If you can visualize, think of a symbol, a place, an image, an object, or an animal that helps you feel connected and calm. Explore that visualization: The colors, textures, sensory elements. If visualization isn’t accessible, engage your senses in the present moment. What can you see, smell, touch or hear right now? You can cycle through your senses, naming what you notice. Or, you can pick one sense and focus on what you notice in the present moment. Listen to a song and focus on the music. The rhythm, the beat, the tones, the way the notes hit your ears. Create art. Doodle, draw, paint, sculpt. It doesn’t have to be a work of art. Try being intuitive and letting whatever medium you’re using help you connect and express yourself.
If you check in with yourself can be in your body, here are some inspiration points: Scan your body and notice if there are any areas that feel neutral. Maybe it’s a pinky finger, the tip of your elbow, a big toe. Maybe it’s your hands or your feet. Wherever that area is, allow that to be the focus of the grounding practice. (For me, instead of grounding via my “sits bones,” I ground by feeling the bottoms of my feet.) Everyone’s body is different, so be creative and gentle with yourself. And allow your body to tell you where it wants to ground. I’ve had worked with folx who have found grounding via places like their ears and their pinky toes, so allow yourself to be creative. If feeling into your hands feels accessible, try holding an object. Spend time noticing how the object feels, its weight, its temperature, its texture. Allow yourself to take in the physical sensation of holding it. If humming feels accessible, try humming on the exhale and feeling the vibration in your body. If sitting still or focusing feel inaccessible, or kick up dysphoria, experiment with movement. Sway, stretch, walk, wiggle, dance. Let it be intuitive. Grounding doesn’t mean you have to sit still.
These are just a few of an infinite possibility of ways to choose your own path to grounding. In solidarity,
Eula For more T4T mindfulness practices, visit my T4T meditations SoundCloud page. More will be added regularly.
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