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An archive of all past Queerly Embodied emails is now available. Simply scroll down to “Archive” on my website.
This is part 1 in a new series I’m starting on moving through something that’s very real for so many trans and gender expansive folx: Waiting for gender affirming care. It’s something I’ve gone through personally, something I’ve supported many of my clients through, and something that, let’s face it, can be emotionally and physically excruciating. First, naming what’s real. As trans and gender expansive folx, we should not have to jump through the hoops we do in order to receive the care we deserve. And yet, the realities of the current political climate make it a part of many folx’s gender journeys. It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to be scared. It’s ok to feel shut down. This series is not here to pathologize or convince any of your parts to feel or think differently. Instead, this series is meant to honor, understand, and help you find authentic ways to support yourself through the discomfort. If you are in the process of waiting for gender affirming care of any kind, or are in relationship to someone who is in this process, I hope this ongoing series can be of support to you and your community. Mapping parts In starting out this series, I want to introduce a process drawn from Internal Family Systems therapy called parts mapping. The IFS lens teaches us that we are comprised of an entire constellation of parts. None of them are bad, and each of them have a unique role in protecting and taking care of us.
Let’s face it: Waiting for gender affirming care is hard. I mean, really, really hard: The gatekeeping, the insurance hassling, worries about your surgery date getting moved or cancelled, the current political climate and uncertainty, not to mention the distress of having to navigate the realities of where your body is and where you want it to be. Of course this process is going to evoke strong emotions, and lots of parts. It can feel like a lot because it is a lot. Parts mapping is a way of slowing down what can feel like an internal avalanche. By lovingly getting to know and understand your own personal constellation of parts that emerge around this topic, you can learn what your system needs to get through the waiting process.
The invitation
Ask yourself: What parts emerge for me around the process of waiting for gender affirming care? Then notice. Maybe you notice a part that gets angry. Maybe another part gets impatient. Maybe a part comes in that dissociates. Maybe another part comes in that thinks about all the logistics involved. Maybe you feel dysphoria. Honor your own unique system of parts. Then externalize them. Once you get a sense of who is in your own unique constellation, explore how you want to acknowledge these parts. Some folx find it supportive to create little cards with artistic representations of the parts. You can journal about the parts. Maybe you want to incorporate cultural and spiritual practices to honor and acknowledge these parts in your system. There is no right or wrong way to map out these parts. Trust your own process. Then honor them. Once you’ve mapped out your parts, pause. Honor their roles, and know that in mapping your parts, you are creating more tools to support your entire self through the difficult process of waiting for gender affirming care. Then find your anchors.
Come back into a practice that grounds and anchors you into a sense of safety. I have several of grounding meditations available on my SoundCloud T4T meditations page.) Stay tuned for the next part of this series, where I talk more about learning how to support your parts through the waiting process. In care and solidarity,
Eula ——
For more T4T mindfulness practices, visit my T4T meditations SoundCloud page. More will be added regularly.
I have several slots open for pro bono, time-limited, virtual somatic resourcing sessions. For a full description of this offering, visit this link.
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