Embodiment: What it is and how we work with the mind and body in session

Be here now

“Embodiment is about what is, not about what should be or could be.” - Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen

One reason embodiment can be so meaningful in therapy is that it cuts through the clutter that prevents us from understanding what’s actually happening in the present moment. The shoulds, coulds, and interpretations of the mind can keep us from what really needs our attention and healing. When we drop into what’s here, right now, and stay present together in session and listen, we often start to hear and understand parts of ourselves that need our attention. Parts that have been holding onto hurt and pain. Parts that have been trying to get our attention the best ways they know how. Parts that may not feel safe even though our minds are telling them everything is ok now.

Feel the connection

 

It’s one thing to know something intellectually, to know it in the mind. It’s another to feel it in your body, in your being. And it’s yet another layer when in relationship for you or your partner to feel that sense of a secure bond.

Instead of viewing the mind and body as separate entities, we start to work with them as a whole.

We also honor the understandable protections in place that prevent us from fully feeling our somatic experience. The goal isn’t to push past those protections - after all, those protections are trying to keep us safe the best ways they know how. And sometimes, those protections are necessary due to transphobia and homophobia.

The goal is to develop enough understanding and enough safety with your own internal protections so that you feel more choice points, more internal understanding, and more tools to resource yourself.

Collaborating and creating safety

 

Many of us haven’t grown up with a lot of language around embodiment. Others, myself included, spent years dissociated from our bodies because it felt unsafe and too overwhelming.

As a trans, non-binary therapist, I hold how systems of oppression and transphobia impact how gender expansive and queer folx feel about our bodies.

Using my own experience of coming back into my body, I bring a lot of compassion, gentleness, collaboration and pacing to my work . Here are some of the guiding principles I use for myself and my work with folx in coming home to the body:

  • We establish and continually co-create safety. This is an ongoing journey that’s unique to each person.

  • We do it together, in relationship. I’m with you each step of the way, checking in, guiding, and collaborating.

  • We go slow.

  • We take a gentle pace that honors all your protections and experiences.

  • We develop resources (think of it as supports, like scaffolding or a nice cushioned floatation device) so that you feel supported.

  • We titrate together so that you have the opportunity to digest and integrate your experiences.

  • We find glimmers and joy! After all, just like our bodies hold the pain, our bodies also hold moments of joy and ease. Embodiment is as much about recognizing and savoring these moments as it is about being with the pain.